Marykate Olsen Is Dating My Grandpa

USA Today -->
Mary-Kate Olsen, 26, and her sweetie, Olivier Sarkozy, 42, half-brother of the former president of France, are still hot and heavy, as you can see. The two, who have been dating for six months or so, were spotted in this (uncomfortable?) smooch pose on Friday night while cheering on the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The WSJ Magazine asked Mary-Kate about the romance — and the 16-year age difference — in a recent interview. The star/designer's reply: "Everyone has an opinion. I find it's better to focus on what's in front of you and to keep putting one foot in front of the other."

Is anybody else thinking what I am? Marykate Olsen doesn't look half as bad as I thought she would. I mean her and her twin sister Ashley just disappeared off face off the earth for like 7 years right? But here she comes, looking pretty smoking at this Knicks-Mavs game while some 70-year-old licks the side of her face. Her mind is telling the press that she likes this guy, but her face looks like she's being held captive by this psycho. If that is not the face of pure terror right there, I don't know what is.

What's up with chicks being in to older guys anyways? Like I remember when I was in high school and all the girls in our grade would go hang out with kids older than us that could drive and shit. Me and my buddies were riding around on our huffy bikes with pegs, and stolen chromies on the tires while the Senior quarterback was getting road dome in his Ford Explorer. But I feel like women have taken it to a whole new level. Instead of just looking in the grade above them, women have began searching places where old people hang out. Like; banks, whole food stores, retirement homes, bingo halls, and Jimmy Buffet concerts. Open your eyes ladies! Yeah these guys might have money, stability, houses, and time shares or shit like that. Us young bloods have cool shit too, We are technologically savy, we have knees that work, and balls that don't sag to our knees! Please ladies, don't be a part of the problem anymore. Out with the old, and in with new!

P.S. Marykate Olsen.... My team. Bold move, but I'm sticking with my gut.

You Know What I Realized?

Being the avid music buff I am, I always find myself looking up all the hottest tracks and artists from around the hip-hop world.  Recently, I listened to some music by Chief Keef and, after a few youtube searches and a number of head scratches, I realized that Chief Keef and I have absolutely nothing in common.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on him, I'm just saying that I probably wouldn't walk around in public with $10,000 stuffed in the pockets of my Old Navy jeans.  Before I go any further, here is the comparison so you can decide for yourself.

Chief Keef...

Me and Cholo

Now if you're thinking what I'm thinking, you would probably say something along the lines of "Well, first off Keef has a neck tat, a couple thousand dollars, and a haircut that looks a lot like a Puli puppy."  Now the chances are, you would then scroll down and say things like "Wow, these are two attractive, well-dressed, blog entrepreneurs who look like they have very good heads on a set of solid, muscular  shoulders."  Now as true as that all may be, the real issue here is:  do I have ANYTHING in common with this man?  The obvious answer is no, absolutely not.  We don't really have similar friends (i.e. - this video), I don't really have a problem with sneak dissahs (still not really sure what that is), and we probably didn't vote for the same president in this recent election.  Do we wear the same socks?  Underwear?  Deodorant?  Has he ever wanted to gag when he brushed the back of his tongue too hard?  I don't know and it's breaking me down little by litte.  Any information on this topic would be greatly appreciated.  Until I figure it out, I'm probably not going to be sleeping well at night.