So I find myself filled with the sudden urge to poop and I happen to be in foreign territory. This isn't know comfy incense lit, chilling on twitter, 1000 thread count toilet paper poop. This is hell, might as well be taking a poop in enemy land. I have some hints though maybe if you stop forcing me to use low grade sand paper to wipe my ass, I'll stop writing profanity all over you're stall doors. I'm offering a fair trade, maybe some actual soap rather than fake anthrax looking crack cocaine shit that falls out of the dispenser and upgrade to Dove. I just can't find myself getting comfortable and then SOMEONE WALKS IN! FUCK ME RIGHT?!? I'm trying to sit here do my thang and this guy comes and all judgmental and shit and now my butthole is tighter than TSA after a bomb threat. I really am not asking for a golden throne I just want a little order. I expect certain standards when I'm taking a shit and you public restrooms need to step up your GAME!
Sincerely,
One Pissed Off User
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